I has been a very long time since my last post, and for that I apologize to any readers who follow me.
The last time I wrote, we were still on vacation, and I was feeling frustrated with my lack of dominance. After vacation, we came home, and promptly moved to another city (that was in the cards before we left) so a lot of our time was taken up by that. However, since the move, we have been practicing more BDSM. It does kind of come and go, but let me explain that in more detail.
I don't think I'm ever going to be a "constantly on" dominatrix. Every week, there is at least one day where I tie my husband up and "punish" him for one reason or another. Sometimes I let him have an orgasm, sometimes not. But this regularity, although not every day, has been really good for both of us. I have gained a lot of confidence. It has really changed me, more than anything. I am more confident. I am less submissive during conflict. When he is doing something I don't like, I am very firm when I voice my opinion about it. I am able to defuse him much more easily than in the past. We have built up a great deal of trust together.
We currently live in a neighborhood. It is a place with very little privacy. We cannot be too loud, because houses are somewhat close together, and we are foreigners here, so we would not like to be any more alien than we already are. After our house is built, we will be living in a much quieter part of town, and I am really looking forward to having more privacy. At any rate, things have been going well with us, and I just wanted to post something positive about it.
Thank you to everyone who has offered me advice on this blog. I can't tell you how invaluable it has been to me, to not feel alone in this. I would have given up long ago, if I hadn't known that it was so... common. :-) Thanks again.
Nice hearing from you again. It is interesting how that empowerment works into other areas of life.
ReplyDeleteI found a link to your blog through another site and read several of your posts. You sound as if you are struggling a bit with where you fit as a Domme relative to your natural tendencies. I have a thought for you to consider as you work through this dilemma - Be a Domme if that is what you want, but be yourself. That may not mean you are what your husband wants, but since you are in-charge, then you get to be who you want to be. In the end, if you can't be you, then your relationship is going to suffer and isn't that the real jewel that you want to keep intact? I wish you well. I mention this because as I was learning to be a sub, and my partner a domme, we too fell into the trap of trying to live the lives of what we had read. In the end we realized that our love relationship needed to stay as it was and any D/s interaction we did on top of that had to be within the framework of who we are as people. I hope this makes sense. Feel free to read my story if you wish. Take care.
ReplyDelete