So, I have never trained a bottom before. I'm not sure what to do, it makes me less confident, and in turn, my husband/submissive acts out. He argues. He pushes me. If I'm not strong enough to push him back, I get upset. A lot of it is my confidence in that moment, but there are times when I am less confident. Also, when it's "that time of the month" I feel very unstable, and this comes out in my confidence level. Supposedly, I pick fights. In reality, I just get offended really easily.
Part of me feels, that to punish my sub during those times, would be unfair. He is like a puppy with me usually, with sweet eyes, sitting at my feet, gazing up at me...
But when I am not feeling confident, he loses respect for me. He talks back, and acts out. Our bickering sometimes becomes full blown fighting, and yelling. I start being defensive, and he hates to see that weakness in me. If I cry, it's all over. He tells me he can't be submissive to me if I am not in control of myself. Which I understand, but generally makes me feel worse.
Being a woman is hard sometimes. For a week of every month, you feel like a bi-polar psychopath. Maybe not all women have this, but I know that I do. Sometimes birth control can help it or make it worse. The most important thing, is that you and your partner are both aware of when this is going on. My husband has even gone so far as to ask me to use a highlighter on our calendar to mark the days of the month that I am going to be "crazy". It sounds like he's being mean, but in reality, him knowing when my period is, helps him react to me in a more understanding way. If he knows that I am "PMSing" then he can keep himself from being offended by my behavior as much. It's not a perfect system, we still usually bicker, but it does help for him to know that it's "that time".
The main reason for me writing on this subject, is that it happened yesterday. We fought and bickered all day, from the time we got up, until almost when we went to bed. By the time we went to bed, things were settled down again, but I want to avoid these fights in the future. I have to stop being so wishy-washy and learn to be firm. And to stand strong. If I am strong and dominant, there is no place for him to argue with me. Which, in turn, means there is no reason for us to fight.
I am supposed to be the LAW in these here parts... I just need to act like it, right?
- I am 27, married, and I am a loving and dominant wife. I live in a quiet, South American coastal village with my husband and our two dogs. I have been writing as long as I can remember. I have had much experience with relationships in my short life, having cared for the elderly, and the terminally ill for five years. I learned early about the value of honesty, with yourself and those close to you. This blog is about teaching that lesson to others, and helping them better their relationships of all forms.