sadism, punishment, and money management :-)

So, I have not written in a week, and it's due, I believe.

Since the last time I posted, which was the letter from my little slave, things have been going blissfully well. My hormones have leveled out, which is lovely for me, and for my pet.

So, I want to talk about sadism.

I have never before in my life, thought of myself as a sadist. I have never even considered the thought of enjoying the pain of another person, or living being. In fact, in the past, I would have felt no connection to this concept at all. I would have shuddered at the thought of "hurting" someone.

This is no longer the case.

Understanding that my husband is a masochist, pain holds a whole new meaning in my life. Pain is now a threat, that I dole out when, and if, I need to. Seeing the way that it affects him makes me excited. I love to show my dominance by hurting him. Weather he wants it or not. Its liberating. Sometimes I beat him with a horse whip until he cries.

I went to a near-by resort with his family that came down to visit us. We all got drunk and had fun while he dog-sat. When I called him the next morning he was half asleep and his attitude was not what I would call acceptable. When I came home I tied him up and beat him until he had welts and was crying. It was so satisfying to be able to punish him. I love that he is willing to submit to my whims.

I no longer immediately associate physical pain with emotional duress. I think this might be one of the biggest hurdles that women go through, when beginning a relationship like the one I am in. I am not under the impression that every man who is submissive, is masochistic. I know this is not the case. My husband happens to be submissive, AND masochistic. The pain is almost a drug. A drug that makes him MORE submissive, and even happy. It is not something I typically use to solve arguments, although we have used it as "punishment" on more than one occasion of misbehavior. The truth is, in those scenarios, he was almost always the one to suggest that I "punish" him. In this way, it isn't really a punishment. Although I feel the satisfaction of taking my frustration out on him physically, he still get's what he wants.

In the last post, there was a comment from George, about punishing my little pet with different methods. In the blog femdom101 (also at blogspot) Kathy talks about a couple that handles things in a unique way. The wife tells her husband to go out back and dig a hole. She tells him the size and depth it should be, but does not tell him why. Upon his completion of the hole, she tosses a stick in, and tells him to bury it. Later, she tells him it's in the wrong spot and makes him dig it up and bury it in another place. I love the concept of this punishment. It is both physically wearing and frustrating. At any point after this, when the husband misbehaves, she simply says, "fetch the stick". It's awesome, to say the least.

One of the ways I like to punish my slave, is to pick out romantic comedies to watch with him. Now we all know, that romantic comedies are also known as chick flicks, and honestly, not very many of them are that good, unless you love useless mush. Usually, one viewing is all that is necessary. Some of them are downright atrocious. Another TV related thing I like to torture him with is Greys Anatomy. It is sappy, silly, and dramatic. I love it... he loathes it. It makes for a very enjoyable time when he has been bad.

Now, to be honest, he is pretty good, most of the time. I wrote one of my blogs while I was on my period, and I'm afraid that I may have given an unbalanced view of my husband. I have said in past blogs that, before we really began our true dom/sub relationship that I did almost all of the housework. I should have specified, that the comment only really applied to AFTER we moved to South America. When we lived in the US, I worked a regular job, and he was home, and we were remodeling his house, so he did do a lot of work. When we moved here, yes I did more housework, however, he did most of the shopping, and all of the bill-paying errands. In a way, it was balanced. Our roles have changed dramatically in this new lifestyle. Every purchase must be approved by yours truly, and housework is almost always done by my pet. We have (more or less) equal say in money matters. I think that is essential for any relationship. I don't trust myself to make all of our financial decisions, and he is an online trader, and understands the relationship of money and investment much better than I. We have found a fairly level ground in that area.

No relationship is easy. An "alternative" relationship isn't much different. We are all constantly searching for what works best in each situation. What works for me, may not work for you. And that's ok.

I'm happy, my husband is happy, and to me, that is bliss.